The Process. How did I do it? What was my thinking process up to that point of the final sentence of my project? From start to finish. Who did I work with? A better question, who was my inspiration? We had a class period when we had to write about loss. I didn’t realize how much of an impact that night had on me as a child, and still to this day. Hearing people in class talk about their stories, made me want to share my own experience with it. I wrote this fully off of what I could remember from that night and prior memories that stood out to me, leading up to that moment.
What was the most difficult part of the process? I think people struggle with the thought of actually picking the topic, but for me, it was actually sitting down and gathering my thoughts and feelings of that night that he died. Memories of pure fear and panic. Writing about it made it more like a realistic flashback. When did I write this project? I wrote it in class a week before and felt like it was a subject that intrigued me because I haven’t really talked about it, and that is a memory that comes back to me so easily because it was so traumatizing for me. I believe it was a good approach. I had my thoughts written down from a week before that I only had so much time to write on, so it hit the main ideas of the story that I used to write and tell my story with. Where did I write this project? I wrote the idea and notes down in class in a short story form, then carried over to my bedroom, where I sat peacefully and quietly to gather my thoughts. Fully focusing on the memories I had in my childhood that stand out, both good and bad. It was a good approach, I was concentrated in my own thoughts, seeing this memory like a movie in my head, and telling the reader, the plot and what happened throughout it. Why did I choose to write about this topic? It is something very dear to me and something I think about often as it was over ten years ago now. The last grandfather I have left,my dad’s step-dad, is not doing well at all at the moment. It just makes me think of my other grandfather and how taking time for granted is actually a real thing. My only, actual blood-related grandfather that I knew. How involved he would to be in our lives and really showed that he cared for each of his grandchildren. It was a time in my life that I truly remember being so scared, so afraid, and so sad, all at the same time. I wanted to reflect a time in my life, now that is has been some time, to reflect on the past that I haven’t thought of thoroughly, for a while. How will I revise my future drafts to come? I hope to be more descriptive in my emotions I was feeling that night. Reminisce more on memories I can get from my head, without having to look back at some photographs or home videos. Talk about more of the fact that every time I see Monopoly, the board game, I think of him and how he was the one who taught me how to play this game, and win! I wasn’t distracted like I thought I would be, writing my hiraeth, however, it took me a while to start it. I knew what I wanted to say, so it wasn’t gonna take me as long to write it then a story that length would normally take. Stick to picking a day of the week, starting early, and write that day. That way, if you get distracted or can’t do it that day, it’s not a big deal, because you are not cramming and doing it last minute.
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A yearning for a home that you can’t find again. A hiraeth. The first thing that came to my mind is this feeling in my past friendships to when I was younger. It started out that my older brother and his best friend, convinced each other to do things that one of them did, like playing hockey. They starting slowing bringing more and friends around the house that they made while playing this sport. It eventually turned into four to five guys coming over, some even staying past five o’clock in the morning. Having nerf wars, going to hockey games, hanging out in the pool. Each of them meeting me at different times, but they slowly morphed into one big group of friends, that included me. I slowly became part of that group, and I enjoyed every second of it. However, as most friend groups, there is drama and friction occurs. My brother and his best friend no longer stay in contact as much. However, since knowing him since they were in kindergarten, he still semi stays in contact with the family. As for the other guys, they all disappeared from the group, even one moved to Colorado! Broke my heart that such an amazing friend group, who used to be so close, don’t even stay in contact anymore. I yearn for that friendship back. Things are not even close to being the same, it gets very awkward when we accidentally see each other at a hockey game or when our mutual friend from Colorado comes back in town. We each hang out with him separately, rather than all together again. I spent my High school years with these boys almost every week, for it all to be a memory I crave to get back. We aren’t the same people who we used to be. Now? We’re just strangers to each other, with memories that won’t ever fade. My little brother plays hockey every day now. He is quite good at it actually. It's just a mixed emotion going to his games, knowing what started his love for the sport in the first place.
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Melanie
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